Thursday, December 2, 2010

Jerky! Get Your Jerky!

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! I hope you’ve started your Christmas shopping since Christmas will be here before you know it! I’ve already done some shopping on-line using Mom’s magic plastic card. But I got to thinking that it wouldn’t be very nice of me to buy my Mom’s gift with her magic plastic card. She would know how much it cost and that is a big no-no in the realm of polite gift giving. And being the Emily Post aficionado that I am, I would never do such a thing, But what is a clever feline to do? Since it would be hard to convince people who didn’t know me what a hard working, smart, trustworthy cat I was, I decided to see if any of my Mom and Dad’s friends might need some help.
It didn’t take too many inquiries before I landed a sales job. Now that is right up my alley. I can be quite charming and I’m sure I could sell ice cubes to an Eskimo! I couldn’t wait to get started, but then I found out what I would be selling…beef jerky!!!! Oh no, do you have any idea how delicious beef jerky is?!?!??!!?? But that’s not the worst of it. I tried some of my friend’s beef jerky and it’s 100 times better than your average beef jerky. How was I going to keep from eating all the profits?!?!?!?
My Mom suggested I eat a really big meal before leaving for work. She also reminded me that eating my friends’ profits would be stealing. Oh, I could never do that! I set my mind to not think about the tempting morsels inside the packages I would be selling. I would simply buy a couple of packages to devour at home.
I bribed my brother to drive me to work by promising to bring him some jerky when I came home. He dropped me off in the Crown Coliseum parking lot – my new place of employ…the Crown, not the parking lot.
Uncle Zip met me at his truck and gave me my official Uncle Zip’s headgear and my vendor pouch. I looked quite professional!

The pouch was a little heavy, but I was in good shape from chasing Steve, Malcolm and Barnaby around the yard. Uncle Zip lead me inside and showed me the huge area that I would be covering. There were going to be lots of soldiers in the seats cheering for the Fayetteville Fire Antz hockey team. My job was to walk up and down the sections of seats selling the packs of jerky. This should be easy since the jerky was so delicious!
As people started to arrive for the game, I threw myself into my work. I would greet people and offer them some jerky. Do you know some people actually told me they didn’t like beef jerky!! I told them they might have tried some other beef jerky, but this jerky was special and EVERYONE loves it. Non-jerky eaters would just laugh and give me a pat. But if they would only try it, I knew they would love it! Then I had a kitty brainstorm. I would buy a couple of packs of jerky and give out samples. That’ll do it!!
As people came in I offered them a delectable bite of jerky. As they took that first bite and started chewing I would smile and purr waiting for the reaction I knew would be forthcoming. Folks would gasp with delight when they tasted the wonderful flavor of the jerky and would immediately buy a big bag. It didn’t take me long to sell out my first pouchful. I went back to Uncle Zip’s stand to reload and head back out. I had created a high demand as people told each other how great Uncle Zip’s Beef jerky was. I went up and down the steps as fast as I could, trying to keep everyone full of beef jerky.

On my tenth trip back to the jerky stand to reload, Uncle Zip grabbed me and gave me a big ol’ hug. He couldn’t believe such a little kitty could be such a big help!

I told Uncle Zip that all this hugging was very nice, but it wasn’t selling any jerky nor making me any money!! He laughed and place me gently back on the ground. I scurried back into the arena to continue my sales bonanza.
When the hockey game was almost over, with the home team holding a large lead, I was absolutely exhausted! My little paws were just aching and my tail was tired from trying to stay out of everyone’s way. My customers waved goodbye as they headed for the exits and many of them thanked me for turning them on to the jerky experience. I was just happy to have helped Uncle Zip as well as making me quite the little pile of dough!

I told Uncle Zip that I had a great time and would be willing to help out whenever he might need a super jerky saleswoman. Besides the pile of money, I also received several bags of jerky. That was very generous of Uncle Zip. I hugged him goodbye and ran out to the front of the arena to see if my brother had come to pick me up yet.
Being the good brother that he is, he was there! I plopped my poor, tired little kitty body down in the seat and ripped open a bag of jerky. Tristan and I took care of that bag in no time and I opened another…and another….and another. By the time we arrived home, there was no more jerky. We ate it ALL. My Mom and Dad were not too happy,because they both love Uncle Zip’s jerky and they were looking forward to sharing at least one bag. Oh well! At least I can buy Mom a nice present for Christmas. Now I just have to figure out what to buy her!!
Before I close for this week, let me just say that Uncle Zip’s beef jerky really is fabulous. You can try some by going to his website . Tell him Josie sent you!
Have a great week!

Love & licks,

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