Come Fly With Me

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! We have had a little relief from the heat. It was only in the 90’s this week as opposed to the 100’s the week before. Break out the sweaters!!
Corny has been bugging me about learning to fly. I tried to explain to him that one must have wings to fly. He told me about the people dressed in green who he meets in the sky all the time. It took me a minute before I figured out what he was talking about. Ooooh! He meant soldiers parachuting at Ft. Bragg. I asked him if he had happened to notice the big puffy pieces of cloth above their heads. He responded that yes, he had noticed, but he had already figured out what they were. Even though I knew that they were parachutes, I couldn’t resist asking him to enlighten me. Corny seemed very proud that he knew something that I did not. I couldn’t wait to hear this!!! He patiently explained to silly me that they were sun shades to make sure the skydivers didn’t get too hot or sunburned. He told me that being that much higher and closer to the sun might hurt the delicate human skin. They weren’t protected with feathers like birds.
It took a lot of effort to stifle my laughter, but I told him that his theory made sense. I told him that the pieces of cloth also served to catch the wind to slow the person down so they could land easier (and not break any bones) and help them steer where they wanted to go. Corny thought that sounded plausible. He then suggested I should get a parachute so I could fly. I told him I could get a parachute, but I would also need a plane to take me high up in the sky so I could jump out of it. Unfortunately, he knew of a small airport about a half hour away that had little planes that people jump out of all the time. Being the plucky feline that I am, I would never back down from a new adventure. I agreed to try skydiving.
I was not going to do this by myself, so I recruited several of my bravest friends to accompany me into the clear blue yonder. Bobbi said she would try it if she could bring Skippy and Hammy along. I told her the more the merrier! Cali, Dot and Vuvuzela surprised me by saying they thought it sounded like fun. I figured it would be nice to include one of my new ferret friends, and Jibbers jumped at the chance to skydive. Then there was Malcolm. He wanted to know what food was involved. I told him it didn’t matter to me if he came along or not. I was not going to ply him with food. He seemed disappointed but didn’t want to be left out of a trip that might involve passing a KFC. He mumbled something about us needing him to keep us out of trouble so he might as well tag along – I don’t think those were his words exactly, but I’m too much of a lady to say what I think I heard him say!!
I tippy tapped the Raeford airport and let them know that a party of nine would be coming to skydive the next day. They tippy tapped back and said they were looking forward to meeting us. They had seen me perform at the Dogwood Festival and were visitors to my website. Oooh! Fans! Now I know how Sandra Bullock must feel!
Our brave team assembled in our front yard at the crack of dawn and we all piled into my brother’s car for the trip to the Raeford airport. The car was pretty quiet – I think some of us were having second thoughts. I know I was. Corny greeted us at the airport and showed us some of the airplanes. We knew which one was going to be our plane!



The nice folks at the airport showed us around and answered all our questions. We had to take a class before we could board the plane so we all sat quietly while we waited for the instructor. All except Malcolm, that is. He was getting hungry and grouchy. Tristan agreed to drive back to town and find a KFC. Before the class was over, he returned with several buckets of chicken. He thought we all might enjoy a snack since we skipped breakfast. Most of us were too nervous to eat, which left lots of chicken for Malcolm. He was in heaven.
When we were sufficiently educated in the art of skydiving, we put on our jump gear and headed for the plane. I tried to tell Malcolm to leave the leftover chicken behind, but he thought the trip into the sky would take a long time and he would get hungry again. I didn’t know how he could think of food at a time like this. It was much too exciting!!
The plane taxied down the runway, getting faster and faster. It was a small plane so it shook and rattled as we sped up to takeoff speed. Just as I was beginning to think something must be wrong – whoooosh! The plane smoothly lifted into the air. We all sighed aaaaaaaah at once. We climbed higher and higher until we leveled off at a gazzilion feet (or so it seemed – actually it was around 13,000) We peeked out the window and couldn’t believe the view. Everything looked so different from up here!!
Then it was time to start jumping out of the plane. It goes against every logical bone in one’s body, but I was determined to see this through. Each critter wanted someone else to go first and we just went around and around about it. Finally, Jibbers had had enough and scurried to the door. He looked back at us, smiled and jumped out!



Wow! What a brave ferret! We all peered out the door to see him waving and laughing as he fell through the air. Now we all wanted to do it. One by one we jumped out of the plane – Geronimoooooooooooooooooooooo! We all loved it. Everyone was smiling and waving to each other.





Surprisingly, there was no sensation of falling, more like floating – and very windy!!! Our little tails were just flapping around. We had no control over them! It was such a cool sensation that I didn’t want to end.
Then I noticed Malcolm wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I looked back at the plane in time to see Malcolm and all his chicken come flying out the door of the plane. I was hoping I wouldn’t get hit with a piece of chicken once I hit the ground!



Our instructor, who jumped with us, signaled us to open our parachutes. It seemed like only a minute since we had left the plane, but I didn’t want to become a large splat on the ground. We all pulled our ripcords and braced for the slowing of our fall. We must have been a sight; nine of us floating in the sky. Now all we had to do is have a safe landing and we would have done it. After being so high up and having so far to fall, the ground seemed to suddenly come up fast! But our excellent instructor had us prepared and we all made nice controlled, gentle landings



As the instructor went around helping us gather our parachutes we were all chattering with excitement: Did you see me? Did you see that? Wasn’t that cool? We were high fiving each other and just grinning with satisfaction. Well, most of us were. Malcolm was frantically running around with an empty KFC bucket trying to find the chicken that had gone flying out the plane door with him. He was not pleased. “Wasn’t that a blast Malcom?” I gushed and slapped him on the back. Even in his agitated state, he couldn’t help but let a smile creep onto his face. “Yes, that was cool,” he said in the clearest voice in which I have ever heard him speak.
Poor Tristan had to listen to our stories all the way home. Each one wanted to tell him what they did and saw. He was very nice and tried to act interested in what we were saying. I’m sure he was relieved when we finally arrived home.
I invited everyone back to the deck for a beverage before calling it a day. We thanked Corny for encouraging us to try flying. We all decided he was very lucky to be able to do that whenever he wanted. I am so glad we weren’t afraid to try something new!
Hope you have a great weekend! Go out and try something new – even if it seems scary. Especially if it seems scary!
Love & licks,
Josie

Utopian Seafood Buffet!

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! Hope you all had an enjoyable week. My friends and I had quite the little adventure in our quest for the Utopian Seafood Buffet. Twist my arm and maybe I’ll tell you about it!
…Okay! I know humans are big on “urban legends”, but did you know us felines have urban legends of our own? Like the one about the biggest ball of yarn in the world that can entangle a curious cat so strongly that the cat can never get out. I don’t like that one. I like the more fun, positive ones. Like the one about the most fabulous seafood buffet in the world. It’s an all you can eat buffet offering every kind of the freshest fish imaginable! Many cats have claimed to know someone who knows someone who has been to it, but no one has been able to produce any photographic proof of its existence…until now.
It all started a couple of weeks ago when I was in the Payless Shoe Store with Mom. They were having one of their big BOGO sales, so she said she just had to go stock up on some summer sandals. I hadn’t been there before, but I figured if they had shoes, surely they would have a lovely assortment of accessories - including hats. Seems I figured wrong - Payless does NOT have hats. Oh, well. I helped Mom shop for shoes – she trusts my judgment since I am such a fashionista. I couldn’t help but overhear two ladies talking about a place on the North Carolina coast that had every kind of fish you could imagine swimming around in large tanks. Wow, I thought, that must be the Utopian Seafood Buffet. Legend has it that you can pick your fish right out of the tank and either eat it right then, or give it to one of the master chefs to have it cooked to perfection. Oooh, I didn’t know which option I would take. My mouth started to water and I closed my eyes and imagined how great a fresh fish would taste. Suddenly, I realized the ladies had left without divulging where exactly this place was. At least I knew that it was located on the coast of NC.
I was now more determined than ever to try to find the Utopian Seafood Buffet. I didn’t want to go on my quest alone – who would believe me if I didn’t have witnesses…not to mention the fact I am unable to drive on my own. It wasn’t too hard to recruit some friends to come along. Convincing my brother to drive a couple of hours to the coast took a little more coaxing. I asked him very nicely, tilted my head just so and purred. It didn’t take long before he was eating out of my hand and agreed to be our chauffer to the coast.
We (Tank Fuzzbutt, Cali, Dot, Malcolm and I) decided to start out bright and early in the morning before any traffic could build up. My friends and I were so excited we were already in the car well before we were scheduled to leave. Tristan, evidently, was not as eager and we sat and waited and waited for him to get in the car and drive!



We had carefully placed our hats in the trunk so they would not get squished. Nothing is worse than a squished hat! We figured we would not be very comfortable wearing our hats while in such tight quarters in the car. It was probably a wise move though I hate going out into society without a hat! Tristan finally emerged from the house and started us on our way to new discoveries!
We had fun in the car singing along with the radio and looking for animals in the fields along the way. We headed in the general direction of the Carolina Coast figuring we could ask people for directions as we closed in on our destination. It took a couple of hours before we needed to start interrogating the locals. We stopped at several convenience stores before we found a person who knew of what we spoke. They kindly gave us the sacred directions to Utopia.
Malcolm was getting hungry so we had to drive through Kentucky Fried Chicken to buy a bucket of chicken. I scolded him and told him he would ruin his appetite if he ate a whole bucket, but he just mumbled something about being hungry again in a little while. I think he called me a not nice name!!
We had to stop several times before we found it. As soon as it rose up in the horizon I knew that it truly did exist – the Utopian Seafood Buffet!!!! It was beautiful!! We all started howling with delight –well, except for Tristan; he just covered his ears – and we leapt out of the car before it had come to a complete stop. We scurried up the stairs and made a bee line for the door.



There was no Maitre D to greet us when we entered – which was good. We didn’t know their policy on feline diners. It was tough to keep the group together as we were all pointing at something wonderful. We were whipped up into such a frenzy we had to stop and figure out where the buffet line started. We sat down and started to talk among ourselves when something behind me caught my eye. I turned to look and it was a tank just filled with tasty looking fish! I shrieked with glee and my friends all turned at once to look. Tank and Dot jumped up to get a better look and Dot took a few swats at some fish but didn’t catch any.



Since the drool was beginning to puddle on the floor, we decided we absolutely had to find the buffet line NOW. We were trying not to be noticed, so we really couldn’t ask people where we should be going to find the buffet.
As we walked around past all the beautiful fish tanks in search of a meal, Malcolm growled that he was glad he had eaten that chicken or he’d be famished by now. We all just rolled our eyes and forged onward.
We had heard that you were allowed to pick your own fish, but how could you do that when they were so far under the water? Then the answer appeared before us like an answer to our hungry prayers:



Aha! We had to put on scuba gear and go pick out our fish under the water. How ingenious! Combining adventure and sport with eating. What a great idea. No wonder no cat will admit this place exists. They want to keep it all for themselves!
Not everyone in our party was up for scuba diving. Tank and I volunteered to don the scuba gear and secure provisions for the whole group. Malcolm looked especially relieved. I don’t think he’s much into athletics.
It took a while, but we found some scuba gear in a closet behind one of the huge fish tanks. Tank and I grabbed some gear and jumped into the water.



What fun it was to swim under the water like that! I almost forgot about the fish. I finally remembered what I was supposed to be doing and got to work gathering dinner. It proved to be a daunting task. It was hard to get near any of the fish – they were much better at swimming than I was. Tank and I swam all around to no avail. We were unable to catch any fish. We were finally exhausted and decided to call it quits. I did not look forward to telling Malcolm there would be no fish for dinner.
As Tank and I climbed out of the tank, a couple of waiters came over to help us. They explained that we were not supposed to swim in the fish tanks – only the caretakers were supposed to do that. They told us that even though cats were not supposed to be roaming around, they were in such awe of our courage and swimming abilities that they would let us stay to eat dinner. Food at last!
They led us to a lovely dining room and showed us to a table. The waiters left us for a few minutes. When they returned they had trays full of food! You should have seen Malcolm’s eyes light up! There was a variety of fish – very fresh and very delicious. There was a plate with fish sticks piled high. That was Malcolm’s favorite.



We ate until we were about to burst! I think even Malcolm was full – didn’t think it was possible!
Tristan finally tracked us down. He figured if he found food, he’d find us. We had a long trip home ahead of us, so Tristan said we needed to get going. We stopped to thank the kind waiters who took such good care of us before we headed to the car. When we got outside we turned and took one last look at this wondrous place…now we know it DOES exist. Tristan pulled out his cell phone and snapped a picture, though I don’t think anyone would believe it anyway.
Poor Tristan had to listen to us burp and moan all the way home. It was a treat to not have to listen to Malcolm continually ask to stop to get something to eat. We agreed that we would not divulge the location of the Utopian Seafood Buffet to anyone – it would be our little secret. We were all exhausted when we finally pulled up into our driveway and we went to our respective homes immediately. My head barely hit the pillow and I was out, content in the knowledge that I had been where few cats had been before.
Have a wonderful weekend and week. Visit your favorite seafood restaurant and pig out. It may not be the Utopian Seafood Buffet, but any seafood is still good!

Love & licks,

Josie

Working Girl

Happy Friday my friend! I hope you had a fun and interesting week. I didn’t know what to do with myself this week, now that there are no holidays to celebrate nor traveling to be done! With this week being the first week of the month, I knew Mom was going to be very busy at work which wouldn’t leave me a whole lot of time to use her computer to tippy tap out my weekly discourse. I believe in being part of the solution, so I decided I would help Mom at work. I figured if she accomplished more during her workday, she would be home more, thus I would accomplish more tale tippy tapping! Don’t you just love logic?
I have never worked in an office setting so I wasn’t sure what hat would be appropriate. I couldn’t go by Mom because she is a fashion nightmare, so I had to use my own sense of style to decide. Since I was going to be meeting lots of new people, I figured I should dress formally, yet with a little flair. Rather than throw a bucket hat on my head, I chose to start out my day in a fabulous, tres chic, number that my friend Icy bought for me. I brought along many other hats as well. I figured a hat for each different task would be appropriate.
Mom insisted that she didn’t need any help, but I think she was just too proud to admit she needed another assistant. Even as we were driving to the office, she would tell me it wasn’t too late to turn around. I stressed to Mom that I didn’t mind and that I was very excited about becoming a modern working woman! I don’t know why she seemed so stressed about the whole thing. We were going to have fun!
As soon as we arrived at Mom’s place of work, I headed straight for her office and booted up the computer. While Mom went to alert her co-workers of my presence, I went on-line to check on a few things.



I was relieved to find that the surprised kitten was on Mom’s work computer. One never knows when one might need the surprised kitten to cheer one up!
When Mom was ready to get working, she shooed me out of her chair and gave me my first task. She had a whole stack of papers that needed to be put in their respective files. That sounded easy…certainly I could do it! I found a box to stand on and set to it!



Without a thumb, this was NOT an easy task. I could sort of hold it between my toes, but I kept getting paper cuts in my delicate little paws when I tried to push the paper into the file folder. After a few tries and a few cuts, I decided that filing was not for me!
Mom thought of something else to make me productive. She promised me that shredding would be a lot easier because the shredder grabs the paper out of your hand when you push it near the opening. That sounded easy – I could do it! She turned on the machine and proceeded to slide a piece of paper down into the slot. It made a very loud grinding noise and little slivers of paper came out the bottom of the machine. Yikes! I better keep an eye on my tail! I had to make sure it didn’t do one of its flicky moves and end up as a pile of fluff in the shredder bin! I took off my boa- to avoid it being eaten by the shredder – and I went to work!



I tried to control my tail, but the more I thought about it, the more agitated I became, which made it swish around more. While I did love pulverizing paper – I wasn’t sure why - my paranoia about my tail was taking all the fun out of it!
I asked Mom if there was something else that I might do since I didn’t like paper cuts or taking the risk of losing my tail. She stared at me for a minute, sighed and handed me a stack of papers that needed to be copied. All I had to do was lay the paper in the tray and it automatically fed into the copier and both the original and the copy came out the other end. That sounded easy – I could do it! I took the stack of papers Mom had given me and laid them in the feeding tray. I pushed the big green button and the huge stack of papers started feeding through the copier. It was fun watching the paper go in side and come at with a clone of itself! I took a look at the copies so I could see how much the copies resembled the originals. When I looked at the copies I wondered why Mom had asked me to copy blank white sheets of paper?!?!?!? I called to Mom and she came into the copy room. I didn’t want to make her feel dumb, so I acted like I was proud that I learned to use the machine as I held up the blank pieces of paper. Mom grabbed her head with her hands, shook her head and informed me that I had put the originals in upside down, so I had copied the back of them. That meant I had to do it all over again.
I was careful to put the originals in so that when it fed into the copier the side with all the printing was laying face down on the glass. The second time’s the charm, and I completed my first administrative assignment! As I was collecting the copies from the tray, the empty glass caught my eye. I had seen in movies how people make copies of themselves just for fun. I peeked up and down the hallway outside the copy room and saw that no one was around. I closed the door over and jumped onto the copy machine…



I sat for a while and made several copies to give my co-workers as souvenirs of my visit. I figured they could put it on the walls of their offices like they do with the pictures of the famous people they meet. After I felt like I had done enough copies, I jumped down from the copier to admire my work…



Well, what did you think I was copying?!??!!?!??! Shame on you!!! I’m a lady!!!
I went from office to office distributing the copies of my tail. Everyone was very excited and thanked me profusely! I made sure to give one to Mom to put on her wall!
I had worked up quite a thirst, but I didn’t see any water bowls on the floor. Mom said I had to use the water cooler if I wanted a drink of water. They had these funny little cone cups with which to drink the water. I thought the cup would make a cute hat – and I was right!



I suddenly realized it looked too much like a dunce cap, so I quickly took it off and selected another hat from my collection with which to adorn my fabulous noggin.
As I headed back to Mom’s office, I noticed a blank dry erase board hanging in the hallway. There were dry erase pens just sitting on the little shelf attached to it. I thought I would create some art to brighten up the hallway. I got to work and created one of my favorite things to draw.



As I put the finishing touches on my Stick Cat Steve sketch, Mom came up to me and told me it was lunch time. We had a lovely lunch at Mi Casita – which I mistakenly thought was My Catsita. I was very disappointed there was no tuna on the menu, but they had some delightful beef dishes.
By the time we returned to the office I was exhausted. I told Mom that I needed a nap so I curled up in a box in her office and took a nap….a really long nap. Mom had to wake me up to take me to the car to go home. I felt bad I hadn’t helped all afternoon, but Mom said it was okay – she was able to get a lot done once I went to sleep. That was good…I think. Hmmmmm…
The next day I decided I was going to go back to being a housecat/adventurer. I would rather chase giant fleas up a pole (see my January 6th, 2011 blog) than file pieces of paper! I have new respect for Mom…and her thumbs!
Have a great week!!

Love & kitty kisses,
Josie

Ms. Josie goes to Washington

Welcome friend! I hope you had a good week. I went on a great trip since the last time I blogged. If you twist my arm, perhaps you can persuade me to tell you all about it! Well…okay…. I’ll share my photos and my tale of fun.
Mom and Dad bought tickets to a concert at the Warner Theatre in Washington, D.C. and they decided to make a long weekend of it. They were going to head out on Friday morning so they could spend some time enjoying the city before the concert Saturday night. I asked if I could come along….I promised I wouldn’t get into any trouble. When they finished snickering (what was that all about?!??!!?) they told me I could hitch a ride with them to D.C., but I would be on my own for sightseeing. I agreed and immediately headed to my hat room to start packing a lovely assortment of hats.
We headed out late morning, which gave me plenty of time to get enough beauty sleep for my appearance in our nation’s capitol! It only took about five and a half hours to get there though the scenery, or lack thereof, made it seem longer. There wasn’t a whole lot to look at until we turned onto US Route 1 and headed over the Potomac. It was magnificent! All of a sudden there was an overload of sights to see: the Washington monument, the Jefferson Memorial, the Lincoln Memorial and the capitol building - one right after the other.
We passed really old, beautiful buildings that must have been around for a long time. I pressed my little kitty nose against the car window and oohed and aaahed as we passed the gorgeous buildings that house our government. It was quite impressive!
Our hotel was on Pennsylvania Avenue just a couple of blocks down from the White House. I asked Mom if she thought the President might be taking visitors and Mom shook her head no. Well, did he know we live very far away and had driven for hours to get here? Surely, he could make time for us. Again, Mom shook her head no. Hmmph, well, we’ll see about that!
We pulled up in front of the hotel and the hotel staff immediately swarmed the car. A couple of them set to work unloading or bags and hats, and another filled in a ticket to give Dad. When all the bags were out of the car, one of the staff drove off with the car. I pointed and yowled as the car disappeared down the block, but Dad assured me they were just taking it for safekeeping while we were in town. He promised they would bring it back to us when we were ready to leave. I certainly hope so!!
As I turned to head into the hotel, I saw our luggage being carried away on a big rolling thing. All my hats were on it!! Mom grabbed me before I could throw myself at it. She promised me that my hats would meet us at the room as soon as we checked in. Well…..if not, I would just have to go out and buy a bunch of new ones…hey, that wouldn’t be so bad!
We were on the sixth floor so we had to take the elevator to our room. They had these really smart elevators. You just pushed the button for the floor you wanted to go to and it would tell you which elevator could take you there…and it remembered what floor you wanted! Once inside of it, I was amazed to see it had a television! That allayed my fear of getting stuck on the elevator…at least you would be able to watch TV and keep up with all the events in the world while you were waiting to be rescued. Maybe you would even see the effort to rescue you on the TV. Now that would be cool!



When we arrived at our room, the hotel staff member with our luggage was waiting for us. He carried all the bags in and started pointing out the features of the room. I figured that was something for Mom and Dad to pay attention to so I made a beeline for the window. We certainly didn’t get a room with a view, but I didn’t care. I was going to go exploring in the big city!
After the hotel guy left, I turned back to check out the room. On the desk was a big tray of snacks and beverages. Ooooh! A jar of assorted nuts!! I trotted over to the tray, and just as I was about to grab the container of nuts...



Mom shrieked and scooped me up – with me still reaching for my chosen snack!
“Please don’t even touch those,” she begged. Mom then explained to me the perils of the mini bar/mini snack tray. We figured that since there wasn’t even a price list, we most certainly could not afford any of it. Mom told me that even if you only just touch something on the tray you will be charged for it. Needless to say, I took great pains to walk slowly and carefully past that evil tray!!!
We decided to have a nice dinner before retiring, so we went down to the lower level to exit out onto Pennsylvania Avenue. There we saw the most wondrous thing. An escalator with no one on it! I had seen escalators before in airports, but they were usually packed with people so you really couldn’t see them. This one was very pretty and at the top of it was my favorite coffee shop! It looked very inviting, and fun, so I decided to take a ride. I rode slowly up the one side and then rode slowly back down the other side.



Before I could get back on to go up again, Dad took my hand and led me out to the street.
We had a great dinner at the historic Round Robin Bar! The gruyere macaroni and cheese fried in truffle oil was excellent and I stuffed my belly full! It was time to call it a night. I slept like a log that night!
The next morning we awoke to forecasts of the temperature outside rising to well over 100 degrees. With the heat index it was going to be like 120 degrees! That is not good weather to be walking around a big city wearing a fur coat. I was going to have to be careful. Mom didn’t want me to go outside for very long, and I promised I would stop back in the room to cool off from time to time. I grabbed a bottle of water and rode the elevator down to the level that led out to the street.
The White House wasn’t very far away, so I thought I would try to walk to it. As I padded along, I noticed a poor robin in the street, just panting away. I felt so bad for him. I know birds don’t trust cats…for good reason… so I had to assure him I meant him no harm. I reached under my hat and pulled out an umbrella hat that I thought might help him. I also offered him a drink of my nice cool water.



He must have been really thirsty, because he didn’t hesitate about coming close to me and taking a big gulp of water. I sat with him for a while and let him have as much water as he wanted until he could cool himself down. He was most appreciative and declared that I was his new best friend. Since I love making new friends, this was most exciting! I invited him to walk up to the White House with me but he had an even better idea…



We rode a double decker bus around the city! My new friend, Rob, and I could get on and off wherever we liked. Rob figured it would be a fun way to see more of the city and still visit the President.
It was too hot to get off and do a lot of sightseeing, so we stayed on the bus until we arrived at the President’s house…the White House! We ended up walking around a while before we found the visitor’s center. We presented ourselves to the information lady and declared that we were here to talk to the President of the United States of America! She looked at us rather blankly and asked if we had scheduled a tour with our congressman. Well, no, but we had driven over 5 hours to get here. She frowned and shook her head. She told us we had to have scheduled a tour at least 21 days out from the date we wanted to tour. But I had advice for the President about the deficit problem! “No!” she said quite adamantly, “you must leave now!”
I put my tail between my legs and shuffled out. How do you like that! I can’t meet with my country’s President. Perhaps I could find a Secret Service agent and they could help me get in to see the President. Where in the world could I find one?
Rob and I figured we most likely had to be on the White House property to find a Secret Service agent. We had no idea how right we were! Since Rob could fly and I was a good climber, he flew to the top of the White House’s perimeter fence and I climbed it with my natural cat expertise.



It didn’t take long before several Secret Service agents appeared out of nowhere! Oh good, perhaps they could show us…..I was immediately grabbed by the scruff of the neck and hoisted into the air. Now I know that cats have lots of skin to grab in the neck area and it is considered an acceptable way to hold a cat, but I had not been held like that in a long time and it was not a very dignified way to be held!
The agents frisked me and checked my collar for….I’m not sure what they checked my collar for, but whatever it was it wasn’t there. I explained to the agents why I was there. They looked at one another and agreed I was not a security risk, but they did inform me that I was NOT going to meet with the President.
At that point I didn’t care and all I wanted to do was go back to the hotel and cool off, Rob and I caught the next bus back down Pennsylvania Avenue and headed immediately to the room. Mom said it was okay for Rob to come in for a while. Both Rob and I settled down for a little nap until it was concert time.
Dad woke me up in time to go get dinner and then head to the show. Rob rode down in the elevator with us and we walked him down the street to where I had met him. He thanked us for our hospitality and we gave him a bottle of water to take with him. I told him I hoped we would return to D.C. very soon and I promised to look him up.
We had a light dinner and headed excitedly to the show. I wore a lovely blue dress hat and carried a fan so I could daintily cool myself if it was warm in the theatre.



The theatre was beautiful - very old and ornate. We had excellent seats - 4th row center! The show was fabulous!! It was very funny with lots of great music. For the second encore, Mr. Minchin played one of my favorite songs: Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen. I had promised Mom I would behave and not leap on stage since we weren’t in our hometown where I am well known. I had already gotten myself in enough trouble today, I didn’t want to push it!
After the show we waited outside the theatre and Mr. Minchin very graciously came out to sign autographs and take pictures with his fans. Mom was so excited she forgot to ask me to be in the picture with she and Mr. Minchin, so I had to jump in at the last minute. Unfortunately, I ended up covering up some of Mom’s face. Ooops!



We thanked Mr. Minchin for a wonderful evening and headed back to the hotel. We had a good sleep and a delicious breakfast and headed home Sunday morning. I was sad to leave – there was so much more I needed to see, but Mom and Dad had to get back to work Monday. If you ever get the chance to visit D.C. you must go – it’s a fascinating city!
I hope you have been staying out of the terrible heat! I think I have had enough of summer already – don’t you agree? Have a great week!

Love & kitty kisses,
Josie

Extreme-ly Exciting!

Hello friends! There have been some mighty big doins in Fayetteville this past week and a half! The television show Extreme Makeover: Home Edition rolled into town to give a brand new home to a lucky Fayetteville resident. The house they picked was off of the main road running past our neighborhood, so there has been lots of screwed up traffic in our neck of the woods!
Everyone knew ahead of time that the show was coming to Fayetteville so the town went nuts planning how to help and celebrate one family’s good fortune. It was a big secret as to who the lucky family was, but as soon as it was announced things became really crazy! Roads were blocked off, spectator buses started shuttling back and forth and large construction trucks were in and out of the neighborhood. People were volunteering to help and construction went on for 24 hours a day.
Being a cat, I was curious, so I had Mom drop me at the top of the main street and I was able to trot pass the security guards unnoticed. I wasn’t being sneaky or anything - cats do just roam neighborhoods now, don’t they?
I had to be careful to avoid trucks and cranes and backhoes all in action at once. It was like an obstacle course, but I managed to get to the spectator area. As I chatted with some of the folks, it didn’t take long to figure out that all the spectators had just one goal in mind: Meet Ty Pennington. I had no idea what he looked like, but I didn’t have to. When the illusive Mr. Pennington emerged from behind this massively big bus, the crowd went wild. He was a rather handsome guy, for a human, so I could see why the ladies were excited. Everyone was screaming at him and jumping up and down.
You know how easily I get stirred up, so it didn’t take long before I was as excited as everyone else. So when Ty started walking to the bus as if he was going to go hide in it, I couldn’t help myself. I was going to meet him!!!! I scurried out away from the crowd and just launched myself in his direction. It was quite the leap and I landed squarely on his chest and had to grab his neck and shoulders to keep from sliding to the ground.



I startled him, but he was very kind. He thanked me for coming out and asked if I was going to be helping with all the work that needef to be done. I promised him I would do what I could. I think I blushed and giggled when he gave me a hug and gently place me back on the ground.
Since I promised Ty I would help, when it came time to pull down the old house, I was right there in the middle of it. I had already gotten a hard hat, but the rest of the volunteers were given theirs and told to get in line. I liked the idea of everyone wearing a hat. In fact, everyone in construction wears a hat – not the most colorful or stylish ones, but I do like to see chapeaued heads!
Everything takes a while when it’s being filmed. The cameras had to be in place, actors had to say their lines correctly and all had to go just right or it had to be done again. When it was time to pull the house down we were ready. When the directors told us to pull, I pulled as hard as my little kitty arms would let me. It was quite the feeling of satisfaction when a part of the house came down. Wow, I’m strong….okay, WE were strong!



I helped as much as I could until Mom came to pick me up. I told her all about my exciting day. She told me that there was going to be a big event in Festival Park to help raise funds for the family’s expenses. There was going to be music and food and a water slide and food and face painting and food. That sounded like something I would be interested in attending!
Dad, Mom and I headed over to Festival Park Sunday afternoon to partake in the festivities of the event they titled “Heroes, Hearts and Hardhats Music Festival.” There was to be live music all day. Mom gave me a talking to about behaving myself – she did not want to look up and see me on the stage! I told Mom I would do my best to keep a low profile, but I could make no guarantees.
I enjoyed listening to the music and taking big laps of my delicious ice cream cone. It was vey hot which made the ice cream taste extra good. I was happy just lounging in the grass until the greatest 70’s band ever took the stage. They were called Dathrowback Band and they were great. I found myself dancing and swirling and shaking my booty all over Festival Park. I inevitably ended up dancing my way up onto the stage to join in the fun. The band had all these great costumes lying around back stage and I helped myself to one before bopping out onto the stage.



I think my funky 70’s outfit deserves a closer look…



Mom was so busy dancing around in the VIP tent, that she didn’t even notice me. I joined the band for a couple of songs, but then the heat started to get to me - cat fur and all – so I thanked the band and boogied off the stage.
We enjoyed a couple of more performers and then it was time to leave. Before we left, we stopped by this cool photo booth that was set up by the Blueridge Log Cabins folks – the company building the house for the Home Makeover people. Mom, Dad and I had fun mugging for the camera. It only took a couple of minutes for the picture to be ready! I thought it was a really cool souvenir.



The construction work continued the next week even though the temperatures soared into the 100’s. I read in the newspaper that there were plenty of volunteers, - more than they needed, so I stayed out of the way. I knew they still needed skilled workers, but I wasn’t much with dry wall or pouring cement!
I did ask Mom to drop me off at the work site on the last day – the big “Reveal Day.” Word had gotten out that the first lady, Michele Obama, was going to be visiting. Oh wow! I would really like to meet her.
I arrived early and waited impatiently with many, many, maaaaaaany others. We saw everyone – Ty, all the designers and finally, Michele Obama!!!!
There were still a few things to do before the big event, so Mrs. Obama and I volunteered to help finish up the trim on the house. We grabbed a couple of paintbrushes and ladders and went to work. We made a great team and it was an honor to work beside her!



It was very exciting when it was time for the family to return and see their new home. I don’t want to give any details and ruin the show for you, so all I will say is…..watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition when it airs its Fayetteville, NC episode sometime in October.
If you do get the chance to watch the show, look out for my human brother. When the show gets to the part where Paul the designer is at Sears talking in front of a bunch of women helping load a truck with all the goods the show purchased, he’ll be the guy with brown curly hair and glasses, wearing a black shirt and pants that is actually doing all the work lifting the boxes. I hope they keep some of that part in! It would be fun to have a famous brother!
Well, I better go now. It’s been a busy week and boy, are my paws tired!! Until next week… stay cool! (and I mean temperature cool, not attitude cool…okay, well maybe attitude cool too)

Love & licks,
Josie

Hobnobbing Kitties

Hello my friend! Welcome to my world! I bet you already knew what my topic for this week’s tale was going to be! When I heard my dear friends William and Kate were visiting the U.S. I knew I had to make plans to meet them in Los Angeles. While I’m not a big fan of flying – all the security…and the tight fit in the seat…and having to pay to bring all my stuff with me…people just staring at me for some reason – I would endure the trek across this great country of ours to see my favorite newlyweds!
I flew out of Fayetteville, so it wasn’t that bad getting to the plane. I had to use Mom’s plastic card to pay the fee to bring two suitcases with all my necessities along with me. I also knew that wherever Prince William goes, a polo match tends to break out, so I thought it would be a good idea to bring my trusty steed, Butterscotch, along with me so I would be ready. I couldn’t afford to buy her a seat, so I had to stuff her into the overhead storage compartment. I apologized to her as I tried to stuff her hooves under her so I could close the door. She assured me she was fine and was happy just to be going on my adventure with me.



I was disappointed that I wasn’t going to arrive in time to greet William and Kate, but I figured I would catch up with them at the polo match which had indeed been scheduled for the next day as I had suspected it would! My friend Icy was meeting me there, and we were going to have a fun weekend of hobnobbing with the upper crust. We were just in Los Angeles for a couple of days, so we were going to be two very busy kitties! We met up and had a nice dinner, then went to sleep early so we would be fresh for the events of the next day.
We greeted William and Kate as they arrived at the polo club. They were very excited to see us again – they hadn’t seen us since their wedding! We chatted excitedly and William insisted that we be allowed to accompany them inside the club. Icy, Butterscotch and I trotted in behind them, feeling special and holding our tails high.
William noticed Butterscotch and asked if my friend and I might be up for a couple of chukkers of polo. I quickly said “yes!” I asked William if I needed to pay, as the others were doing, for the privilege of playing polo with him. He laughed and told me that of course I didn’t. I was his special guest!
I think Butterscotch was afraid of all the beautiful, athletic looking polo ponies mingling on the field. She stayed very close to me and didn’t say much. I reminded her of our adventure at the steeplechase and I assured her this would be much easier with no fences to jump. She did look relieved at that fact, but she had never played polo before. I whispered in her ear that I had never played polo before either, so we were in the same boat! I told her it would be fun and don’t worry. Luckily I was right!
The stands were full of people who had paid good money to watch this match. I was very excited to be a part of it. When the match started all the ponies and riders raced as fast as they could after a ball. William had given me a mallet to use so any time Butterscotch and I galloped near the ball, I took a big ol’ swipe at it – I didn’t connect too often – but it was fun trying!



Butterscotch had a great time running as fast as she could all over the field. Sometimes she didn’t pay attention to where the ball was, so we sometimes ended up on the wrong side of the field. But it didn’t matter - we had a blast!
After the third chukker, we called it quits. I thanked William for including us in the fun, but we were pooped! He said that was fine, and he would meet us at the trophy award ceremony when the match was over.
Icy, Butterscotch and I had lots of fun cheering loudly from the stands. No one was surprised when William’s team won the match! He is quite the accomplished polo player! We headed over to the area where the trophy would be awarded. Kate was going to have the honor of making the trophy presentation.
We had to wait for everyone to gather and it seemed to be taking forever. Icy climbed aboard Butterscotch and they trotted around the field as Icy pretended she was playing polo. I had been eyeing the nice bowl at the top of the trophy…it would be just perfect to curl up in for a quick catnap! I couldn’t resist and I settled gently into the trophy top. Oh, this was comfy! I closed my eyes and drifted off until it came time to award the trophy.
I awoke to the sensation of flying….I popped my head up to see that I was being hoisted high over the winning team’s heads. Had no one seen me in here?!?!??!? I grabbed on to the sides to keep from falling out and let out quite a loud meow.



William saw me and brought the trophy down and gently lifted me out. I was a little shaken, but fine. William suggested I might want to go back to my hotel and take a nap before we had to be at a gala event that evening. I agreed and our little group headed off to take some much needed naps!
After a refreshing nap, Icy and I got busy gussying up for the gala reception. Butterscotch was very tired and didn’t want to go, so I tucked her into bed and told her we would bring her something to eat when we came back. I think she had fallen back to sleep before Icy and I were out the door!
We arrived at the event early so we wouldn’t miss William and Kate who would have to get us in past security. We had fun watching the celebrities arrive one by one. We would clap and wave as they passed by. Finally, William and Kate arrived. Icy and I gracefully walked over and twirled around so they could check out our beautiful gowns. They told us we looked lovely and we told them that they did too!
The crowd was cheering wildly and William thought it would be a good idea to take a minute and wave hello. Icy and I felt silly just standing there, so we decided to wave to the crowd as well. Being a celebrity is fun!!



Since the crowd was waiting inside, the event organizers came and directed us to the door. William took my hand to make sure I didn’t get lost in the crush of people, and we walked the red carpet into the event.



I was speechless (imagine that!) when I saw all the celebrities gathered in one place!! The funny thing was that they were as star struck by William and Kate as I was by them! None of the other women were wearing hats, so Icy and I took ours off and instead opted for the more demure tiaras I had stashed under my hat.
One of my favorite people we met was Tom Hanks and his lovely wife Rita. They were so funny and charming that the four of us spent as much time as we could with them. Tom was just so funny we just laughed and laughed…



They were many other stars – Barbra Streisand, Jennifer Lopez and Nicole Kidman to name a few. We pretty much stayed in one place and people came up to meet us. Icy and I were having such a great time we didn’t want it to end.
Alas, it was soon time to head back to the hotel. We needed to get some rest before leaving to catch our planes home in the morning. We hugged and kissed everyone goodbye, then climbed into the limo that William let us borrow to take us back to the hotel. We opened up a bottle of milk that was in the limo’s fridge and sipped it out of champagne glasses, pretending that we were famous felines fleeing our adoring fans!
Icy and I said our goodbyes when we returned to out hotel. We were catching flights in different directions at different times so we wouldn’t see each other in the morning. I love hanging out with my fellow feline fashionista!
I hope you enjoyed my tale! Have a great week! I will be hanging out with the Extreme Makeover Home Edition people this week as they build a house in Fayetteville. I’ll tell you all about it next week!

Love & kitty kisses,

Josie

Feline Fourth Festivities

Helloooo friends! Welcome to another action packed edition of Josie Tales. I hope you had a fun and colorful 4th of July! I know I did! Well, I’m not going to keep you in suspense – let me get right to my story!
Mom and Dad announced that they were heading out of town for the 4th of July. It may be a national holiday, but to them it’s more importantly their wedding anniversary – Dad said he wanted to lose his independence on Independence Day…Dad is very funny. Since my brother was working all day on the 4th, I was going to be left to my own devices, which meant I had to start making plans. I could go out of town myself to visit some friends, or perhaps invite some friends here to attend some events with me. When I turned to head out to the deck to relax and plan my holiday, I saw a pathetic little kitten face staring in the door. It was Squeakers/Ginger/Hey You, who had taken up residence on our deck. I would hate to leave her alone on her first holiday. Besides, she needed to learn about things that matter to humans, so that when she is finally adopted she will fit in easily with her new family. She needed someone smart and savvy to teach her about the world. That sounded like a job for me. That settled it - I would spend my holiday with Squeakers/Ginger/Hey You.
After I bid adieu to my parents, I headed to my storage room to get supplies for the day. I sorted through my vast collection of hats and picked out some for S/G/H and I to wear. The first event on our agenda was the downtown parade. We needed a ride to the parade so I sent S/G/H to ask my brother if he could help us out. Who could resist that insanely adorable kitten face? Not my brother! He gave us a ride to a location right near where the parade was going to pass.
The loud noise of the marching bands scared S/G/H at first, and she hid behind me. She slowly became braver and braver and eventually she was marching in place and waving her little American flag.



S/G/H had such a great time, she thought that was the end of the holiday. Little did she know there was so much more to do! Now that I had her interest stirred, I took the opportunity to explain the history of the holiday on the drive home.
I told S/G/H that the 4th of July celebrates the signing of the Declaration of Independence in 1776. She asked from what we had needed independence. I told her that our forefathers sought to break from England and start their own country. S/G/H looked puzzled. She told me she has watched BBC America through the back door, and the British seem so smart and funny – why would we want to break away from them? I tried to explain to her about unfair taxes and restrictions that the British were imposing on the colonists, but she seemed horrified to think that we had been unkind to the British. I told her we were all friends now, so it turned out okay. I reminded her of the BBC America Top Gear episodes where they came to the United States. They wouldn’t have come here if they didn’t like us. That seemed to placate her and she decided our independence was worth continuing to celebrate.
When we arrived home it was time for our next activity. I told S/G/H that a popular meal on the 4th was hamburgers and hot dogs. While those foods are tasty, we were going to have something more feline oriented. I pulled out the chef’s hats and we got to work. S/G/H liked being my assistant chef as we grilled up some beautiful tuna steaks. Since it wasn’t traditional food, I put little American flags in them to make them more 4th of July-ish.



When the steaks had those beautiful grill marks on them, we took them off and chowed down! We had to be careful to remember to take the flags out of them or in our fit of hunger we might end up eating one! The steaks were delicious and we ended up eating them all!
We were so stuffed we could hardly move! S/G/H asked me what activity was going to be next. When I told her swimming she nearly jumped out of her skin with excitement! Our neighbors were leaving town for a few days and they had offered their pool to us to use whenever we wanted. I wanted S/G/H to get the full 4th experience so it seemed a no brainer that we would take a dip in the pool.
I had a swim cap to cover S/G/H’s delicate kitten ears and an inner tube in which she could paddle about the pool. She asked if we could swim now and I told her we needed to wait an hour after eating before swimming….with all we ate, maybe even 2 hours. S/G/H looked devastated. She asked me why in the world did we have to wait so long. It was hot now and a swim would be so refreshing.
Staring into those big kitten eyes, I could not for the life of me remember why. I excused myself to go inside with some dishes, and I made a mad dash to Mom’s laptop computer. I know I’m not supposed to use it when Mom’s not around, but this was an emergency. I tippy tapped as fast as I could to find the answer to S/G/H’s question. Aha! I got it!
I scurried back outside, though I made it a point to look cool, calm and collected as I stepped back out on the deck. S/G/H asked again about the one hour wait after eating. I was ready. You see my young friend, if you swim too soon after eating you will get a cramp in your leg and drown…or get a cramp in your stomach and drown…or the food will make you less buoyant and you’ll sink to the bottom of whatever you’re swimming in and drown. I was running out of reasons so I threw in one of my own. You will be too full and when you do a belly flop you’ll lose your lunch in the pool so everyone will have to get out….and you’ll drown.
S/G/H didn’t say another word. She just went to find a shady place to stretch out and take a nap. I used the time to clean up and rest a bit. After an hour I awoke my young friend and we headed excitedly over to the pool.
I put little S/G/H into the inner tube and gave her a gentle push. She paddled as fast as she could all over the pool. She liked making little waves that made her bob up and down. I asked her if she liked waves and she exclaimed “Yes!” I decided I would help her make some waves!
I climbed up on the neighbor’s deck and walked all the way back to the house. I ran as fast as I could and just before I reached the edge of the pool I jumped so I would go right over S/G/H as I yelled Caaaaaannooooooonbaaaaaaaaallllll!



I hit the water and made a huge splash. S/G/H giggled as she wiped the water out of her eyes while she bobbed up and down on the big waves I had created for her. “Again! Again!” she squeaked. No one needs to twist my arm to make me do cannonballs. I cannonballed again and again and again. Finally, I had to stop as it was getting late and there were other activities in which we needed to participate! I had to practically drag S/G/H out of the pool to dry her off so we could get on with the festivities.
My parents don’t let us fire off the loud, popping, dangerous fireworks, but we are allowed to use sparklers. Mom had left us a few boxes to play with and I thought it was a good, typical, 4th of July-only sort of activity that S/G/H should experience. I lit the sparkler with Dad’s lighter and it took a moment before it sparked up, making S/G/H jump back. Her eyes were huge and her mouth hung open as she stared at the light dancing in my hand!



When the first one burned all the way down, I lit another. When that burned down, I lit another. S/G/H just continued to stare in amazement. I finally asked her if she would like to hold one. She hesitated, but didn’t want to disappoint me, so she took the sparkler. She cringed as I lit it, but seemed delighted when it started.



She just stared and grinned as I lit one after another. It’s a good thing that we didn’t have more boxes or I would have spent the rest of the night lighting sparklers for S/G/H!
There was one more very important event that S/G/H had to experience. The beauty and wonder of a fireworks show. We live near Ft. Bragg, so we can see the magnificent display they fire off every 4th. We had to wait until it was dark enough for the show to start so we hung out on the porch keeping a close watch on the sky.
Suddenly, Malcolm appeared out of no where. He popped up over the side of the railing and grabbed my Dad’s lighter and lit a little red, what looked like a piece of paper. When it caught on fire he threw it on the deck and it exploded making the most awfully loud sound. S/G/H and I jumped back in surprise.



Poor little S/G/H started to cry. I scooped her up and hugged her as I gave Malcolm a very stern talking to. I think he was mad that we didn’t save him any tuna steaks. He probably saw us grilling and was hoping to get a free meal. I told him that he was very mean scaring a poor little kitten like that and he needed to apologize. He patted S/G/H on the head and mumbled something that could have been an apology before he and his firecrackers went slinking out of the yard.
I took S/G/H inside for some milk and managed to calm her down. Soon we saw flashes of light outside the window and we rushed out on to the deck as a bright burst of red light exploded in the sky. Ooooooooooh! We both said. I saw someone coming up the deck steps and prayed it wasn’t Malcolm again. It wasn’t. It was dear Steve. We invited him to watch the fireworks display with us and we all settled down on the railing.



We oooohed and aaaaahed through the whole show. We were disappointed when it was over, but it had been a lot of fun. I looked over at Squeakers/Ginger/Hey You and she was fighting to keep her eyes open. Such a busy day for such a little kitten. We said goodnight to Steve and I carried Squeaker/Ginger/Hey You to one of the deck chairs and laid her down gently. I believe she was asleep before she hit the chair!
I found myself yawning, so I headed inside to bed. Tristan arrived home from work in time for me to tell him about the fun that was had by all. He was sorry he missed it. He tucked me into bed and said goodnight.
What a nice day Squeakers/Ginger/Hey You and I had. It’s fun to watch someone experience things for the first time! Aaah, I remember the days when everything was new to me. I hope I taught her a thing or two that will help make her a well rounded cat!
That’s all for this week. Have a great week and I’ll see you again next Friday!

Love & kitty kisses,
Josie