Happy Howloween!

BOOOooooOOOoooOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOO! Happy Halloween! I hope you have prepared a wonderfully scary costume in which to go trick or treating. It’s not easy coming up with the perfect goulish ensemble!
I spent quite a bit of time and much worry over coming up with my costume. Other years I have always done something non scary that didn’t hide my identity. I’ve done the glam rock thing:



I’ve done the 50’s thing:



I’ve even done the nun thing :



Everyone could see that it was me. I decided it was time to do something scary that would disguise my true identity. I knew the perfect costume:



No one would ever guess it was me. Plus ghosts are very scary …well, at least to me.
I had invited my friends over to check out each others’ costumes to make sure we were ready for the big day Saturday (the city of Fayetteville declared Saturday as the official trick or treating day even though it’s only the 30th!?!?!?), but that wasn’t until late afternoon. Since I had already come up with the perfect costume, I had some extra time to kill. I decided to try my hand at pumpkin carving. We had bought a big old pumpkin, but no one had any spare time to carve it. I bet I could come up with something creative. If I could just keep from cutting myself, I would do just fine!
I put down some newspaper on the kitchen counter so I wouldn’t get the gooey inside of the pumpkin all over the place. I found a big knife and started hacking away. The cutting part was fun – the clearing out of the inside with my paw was not. Pumpkin guts are really slimy and creepy feeling. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat pumpkin pie again!!
Once I got past the gut clearing out part, I was rolling. I felt like Edward Scissorhands the way pumpkin parts went flying as I carved my masterpiece. As the last pumpkin shard landed on the counter I stepped back to check out my handywork.



Magnificent! I couldn’t wait to show my friends!
It wasn’t long before my friends arrived and they all agreed my pumpkin was quite the work of art. We had some smaller pumpkins that I let my friends carve. Everyone enjoyed that and it helped us get into the Halloween spirit.



We had quite the assortment of costumes! From Nemo to Raggedy Ann to Spam – very weird. At least none of us chose the same costume. Isn’t that the worst – when someone has the same exact costume as you?!?!??!?
I suggested we head outside and plan our route. I knew the houses where children lived would probably have the best candy so we made a plan to hit those houses first.
As we wandered through the neighborhood I had to be careful not to trip over my ghostly sheet. I guess one can’t disguise charisma, because several of the neighbors called hello to me by name. How else could they know it was me?
We had our strategy in place and felt ready to tackle the trick or treating mania. We agreed to meet back at my house Saturday afternoon just before the sun started to set. Not that we were afraid of trick or treating in the dark – we just want to make sure the neighbors don’t run out of candy!
I hope you are as excited about Halloween as I am! Be careful not to eat too much candy!!

Love & kitty kisses,
Josie

A Fair to Remember

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! Happy Fall! Happy County Fair! I hope the county you live in has a fair like the county I live in. The Cumberland County Fair opened this week and it is quite the sight to see. I should know because I’ve seen it!
My friends and I had gone to the little carnival in the parking lot of the Food Lion, and that was a good warm up for what awaited us at the county fair. While the carnival had rides and a midway, the fair has all sorts of exhibits, concerts, competitions and animals. It didn’t take much asking to find a few friends to share in some fair fun. Felisha hadn’t come on an adventure with me lately and I missed her, so she was first on my list of friends to invite along. Jibbers and Cami seemed to enjoy the carnival, so I figured they would get a kick out of the fair. My trusty sidekick and ever hopeful voice of reason, Bobbi, agreed to tag along as well. I had seen Corny heading out for the Walmart earlier in the day and had invited him to come along and he said he would fly by the fair when he was finished his parking lot greeter shift.
We had to get a ride to the fair, so we told my brother, Tristan, that there were going to be packs of pretty girls roaming all around the fairgrounds. Since there really were scantily clad women at the beach as we had promised last time, he agreed to be our chauffeur. Since I didn’t want to spend all our time at the food stands, I hadn’t mentioned the fair to Malcolm. The four of us crept out the front door and tip toed to the car looking around to see if Malcolm was lurking somewhere. We scurried the last few feet and flung open the door and jumped in the car and landed right on top of Malcolm. After he extracted himself from the pile of critters, he explained that he had been under the deck and had heard us plan our expedition. He just knew we wanted him to come along! I figured it would probably be a good idea to have another male for Jibbers to hang out with, so I didn’t say anything about Malcolm coming along. But somehow I knew Malcolm was going to be trouble…..
As we neared the fair site, we could see all the lights and giant rides rising up over the horizon. Bobbi started getting nervous when she saw a ride with a giant arm swinging around wildly. She made me promise that we would NOT go on that ride. I told her not to worry since I was more interested in the other activities and not the rides.
After Tristan found a parking space, he turned to us and told us to meet him back at the car in 2 hours. I promised we would try – but since none of us wore a watch (or could even tell time for that matter) it would be hit or miss. Tristan drew a picture of what the clock would look like in two hours and entrusted it to me. I put it under my hat and prayed I would not lose it in all the fun.
As we wandered down the midway we made note of what we wanted to do later. We decided that first we would check out the exhibits. We went into this HUGE room – the expo center. As soon as Malcolm spied the food he was gone. I yelled after him that the food was for exhibit and not to be eaten. I was hoping he heard me or we would be heading home sooner that we wanted to!
The rest of the gang and I wandered up and down the aisles looking at all the beautiful animals. Rabbits, chickens, goats, sheep – all the barnyard varieties of animals were there. I was hoping none of our little group would be scooped up and placed on a judge’s table! There was some judging going on at one end of the expo center. Since I love a good competition, we walked down to where the judging was going on. Much to my dismay, there was Malcolm standing at the table with the other entrants. I tried to motion to him to step away, but he thought I was waving at him, so he waved back. I shook my head no, but it was too late. The judge walked up to the table to start evaluating the entrants’ chickens.



I couldn’t watch so we headed back out toward the midway. A few minutes later Malcolm came running out of the exhibition hall – a moment later his bucket of chicken came flying out the door also. Evidently, the judge was not amused. I have a feeling the chickens were not amused either!
Before we reached the midway, we saw a crowd of people standing around an oval pen. We asked someone what was going on and they replied that everyone was waiting for the pig races to begin. Pig races?!?!??!?! Pigs don’t race. I know horses and dogs have been known to race, but not pigs!! This I had to see. We joined the folks milling about, but when I turned to say something to Bobbi, she was gone. So was Cami. I asked Jibbers and Felisha if they knew where they had gone, but they said they had no idea. Suddenly, a bell rang and the little gate opened up and the racing pigs came jumping out. . I felt bad that Bobbi and Cami were going to miss the pig races – until I turned to watch the race.



There were Bobbi and Cami just having a good ol’ time jockeying a couple of pigs. They were just bouncing up and down like crazy on the backs of the pigs. Poor Cami could hardly hold on and she had to grab her pig’s ears to keep from falling off. Even though neither Bobbi’s nor Cami’s pig won, they had a great time and were just giggling away when we met up with them after the race.
Next we came upon a bunch of ponies. Their owner was giving free pony rides. While Bobbi and Cami had had enough riding for one day, Felisha, Jibbers and I decided we would partake in the more sedate riding experience. We found some appropriate riding hats, and jumped aboard.



I had never ridden a real pony before, and I just loved the rhythm of the pony’s steps. We pretended we were moseying along on the range. I was sad when our time was up. I patted my pony on the nose and thanked him for the ride. Felisha and Jibbers also enjoyed the ride!
We found someone with a watch and compared the picture Tristan had drawn to the watch’s face. It looked like we still had plenty of time to continue our fair experience. Felisha suggested we might have fun playing one of the many games on the midway. But which one? We wandered up and down the rows of games until we came to the perfect one. I’m afraid of clowns and nothing would please me more than shooting a clown with water until his head exploded. Well, maybe it was more like shooting the clown in the mouth until a balloon on top of its head popped. Either way, I liked the idea of shooting at clowns!
Malcolm had wandered off toward the funnel cake stand, so it was up to the rest of us to take on the clowns. I learned very quickly that ferrets are quite the good shots with water pistols. One after another, Jibbers popped his clown’s balloon. I did win one time, but I know Jibbers was being nice and let me win. That’s okay – it was fun hearing the balloon pop! Corny showed up to cheer us on.



Every now and then one of us would “accidently” hit him with some water and he would squawk and flap his wings. After a while he grew tired of us soaking him and headed home. He was tired from working all day anyway, so he needed to go get some rest.
After all his winning, Jibbers had this huge pile of tickets. We had spent a lot of time at that game, and we figured it was probably time to head back to the car. Jibbers piled his tickets on the shelf and told the attendant he was ready to redeem them. We were all anxious to see what he had won. When the attendant walked up with this giant bear we all gasped. Wow! We all thought it was great until we realized we would have to somehow carry it to the car. I sent Bobbi to find Malcolm, and when they returned we all got together and hoisted it up and started toward the parking lot.




The walk back to the car seemed a lot longer than the walk from the car to the fair. I guess schlepping a big bear makes it seem that way! Tristan was waiting at the car and when he spied us he ran up to carry Jibber’s trophy for him. He sat the bear in the car with us which must have looked funny to people passing us on the road. Tristan was nice enough to drive Jibbers and Cami to their house so he could help them take the bear inside. Tristan rang the doorbell and Jibber’s and Cami’s Mom was very surprised when she saw the bear. We all waved to her from the car and she laughed and waved back.
We dropped Felisha off next. I promised her I would not let it go so long between adventures and I would see her again soon. She politely thanked Tristan for the ride home and gave me a big hug before heading into her house. It was time to head to our house and take a nice long nap after all the excitement of the fair. The fair is open for over a week, so I think I will be going back again.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend. If there’s a fair in town make sure to go – you’ll have a blast!

Love & kitty kisses,
Josie

Tooth a Vet I Went

Hello again blog readers! I am happy to offer up a brand spankin’ new blog this week! Though I do wish it was a carefree, happy tale instead of the story of a cat losing some of her necessary parts!
It all started with a seemingly harmless, though annoying, trip to the vet’s office for my distemper shot. As I have said before, my temper is usually fine until I am whisked away from the comfort of my home, stuffed into a carrier and poked and prodded by a stranger! But since I had no choice in the matter, I went along and behaved myself. During the course of the vet’s routine inspection, she discovered that my back gums were verrrry red and that my lymph nodes were swollen. I spent the next hour giving up blood and other bodily stuff that I won’t elaborate on, so that they could determine that there was nothing seriously wrong with me. I was prescribed some antibiotics and a steroid and sent on my merry way.
I took my pills like a good girl, hoping that it would help keep me from having to go back to the vet. Unfortunately, exactly one week later, I returned and watched as the vet and my Mom celebrated the good news of the improvement in my condition. Good, I thought, this is the last time this year I shall have to come here!
It was only a few days later when I noticed that my food bowl mysteriously disappeared one evening. I tried sitting in the spot where it used to be, hoping one of the humans would notice the bowl was missing and do something to remedy the situation. That didn’t work. I tried yelling at them and smacking at their legs, but they ignored me. The next morning when I was really hungry and grouchy, Mom picked me up and stuffed me into my carrier. Oh great, not again! I KNOW she’s not seriously going to take a starving cat to the vet!
This time it was even worse. Mom handed me over to one of the vet techs and walked out. This did not bode well as to how my day was going to go. I was taken to the back to sit among the other poor creatures who had no idea what was in store for them. I sat quietly and listened to all the dogs yap.
It wasn’t long before the vet came to get me and put me on a table. The last thing I remember was being stabbed by a needle before drifting off to sleep. When I awoke I felt different. Boy was my mouth sore. Yikes! I moved my tongue around…something felt different. My teeth! I was missing a bunch of teeth!
I meowed loudly to anyone who passed by. I couldn’t understand that no one was concerned that some of my teeth were missing! The vet came by to check on me and she acted like she couldn’t hear me. She petted me and told me everything was alright, but it wasn’t!! She gave me a shot of something that made me not care about my teeth… or anything else.
Mom finally came to pick me up late that afternoon. I was really feeling no pain by then, and I rolled around in my carrier as Mom and the vet talked. I loudly chattered endlessly to Mom the whole drive home. I had so much to tell her! She, too, seemed unconcerned about my loss of teeth. Maybe Dad and Tristan would care!
Mom released me from the carrier and I bounded out. Then the real trouble began. Mom and Dad started to giggle at my legs. I hadn’t even noticed! Someone had shaved my one leg and put a purple bandage on the other!



How undignified! I pulled on the purple bandage hoping someone would take it off. If I had at least had one normal leg that would help.
It worked. Mom came over and unraveled the pretty purple gauze only to reveal a shaved leg just as horrible as the other one. Now I really looked ridiculous!



Oh, this was just awful!!! Everyone was so busy giggling at my legs, that they didn’t even notice my lack of teeth. I finally had enough and opened my mouth as wide as it would go and just sat like that waiting for someone to notice.



Mom came over and took a look, scrunched up her face and looked away. Then she popped the top on a can of Fancy Feast chicken and cheddar kitty food and I forgot all about my legs and teeth. I was so hungry it seemed like the best kitty food ever!!!! The soft food felt good on my sore mouth and I gulped it down. Maybe this tooth pulling episode wasn’t that bad after all!
With my belly now full, it was time to take a rest. That’s when Mom and Dad noticed the difference in my mouth. Dad announced that I now had a permanent “Elvis snarling lip” look to me. Mom checked it out and gigglingly agreed. Since Elvis Pressley was evidently quite popular in his day, I figured it wasn’t too bad a thing. What do you think?



Mom hugged me and told me I was beautiful no matter what. She promised to take me to buy a new hat as soon as I was up to it. I think I’ll milk this tooth extraction thing for all it’s worth… lots of Fancy Feast , hats and extra cuddles!
Well, I better go rest and look pathetic. I’m getting hungry and I want to make sure the top gets popped on another can of Fancy Feast!!
Have a good week!

Love and kitty kisses,
Josie

Catty Shack

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! Happy happy tail!! I am happy (that’s a lot of happys!) to report that my tail is just about back to normal. It still turns a little to one side and has one spot that is still out of my control, but for the most part I am able to express myself once again. I did not like walking around looking unhappy – that is so un-me!!
My friends and I were sitting around finishing up the last of the food that I had accumulated from my well wishers the week before, when Corny came flying out of the sky and landed clumsily on the deck railing. He started telling us about the men with sticks beating a small defenseless white creature in the green field at the end of the block. We all agreed what an outrage that was and we asked Corny to lead the way to the scene of this injustice.
When we arrived on the scene, the vigilante cardinals were already taking action. They had surrounded the poor defenseless white creature to protect it - but I didn’t see anyone with sticks.



We asked the cardinals what was going on and they eyed me suspiciously. “Who wants to know?” the head cardinal sneered. I remembered then that they did not like me. “A band of concerned citizens,” I replied. The cardinals told us the same story that Corny had relayed but they called it an egg instead of a white creature.
I went over to the egg/creature and sniffed it thoroughly. I poked it with my nose and then gave it a gentle tap with my paw. I started to laugh as I told the others that this wasn’t a creature, it was a ball. It was a special kind of ball – a golf ball.
Evidently, none of my cohorts had watched golf on TV and had no idea how the game worked. Both my Dad and brother play and they had explained it to me when we watched it on TV. I looked around and saw a golf cart with a couple of sets of golf clubs just sitting on the fairway. There was no one around so I thought perhaps the course was trying to drum up some business by offering free cart and club rentals. I asked my friends if they were up to learning a new sport and they enthusiastically said YES!
After I spent several minutes convincing the vigilante cardinals that the golf ball was not an egg, I asked for a volunteer to take the first swing. Jibbers said that he was the first out of the airplane when we sky dived… sky dove… skied dived… went parachuting, so it was someone else’s turn to be the first to try something.
Bobbi volunteered to be the first and she grabbed a club and addressed the ball. “Hellooooo ball” (sorry I couldn’t resist.)



She’s a little thing but she smacked it with all her squirrel might and it flew through the air and landed on the green. We all clapped in appreciation of her skill and decided we would ride down to the ball in the golf cart.
We had a small problem though. None of us was built to drive a golf cart. Several of us tried to stretch way out and reach the gas pedal while holding on to the steering wheel, but it didn’t work. Even Cali with her long legs couldn’t do it. We put our heads together and came up with a plan. Skippy would steer the cart while Jibbers worked the pedals. Most of us climbed aboard and waited to start our fun ride. I think Jibbers got confused and pressed on both pedals at once. The cart revved up but did not move. Then Jibbers figured out what he had done and released the brake. That’s when the wild ride began. The cart popped a wheelie and we took off on two wheels.



Clubs and cats went flying!! Woooohooooo! Hammy and Skippy were just giggling away as Cali, Tank and I were flung in the air.
It didn’t take Jibbers long to get the hang of it, and we were sailing around the golf course with ease. Every now and then someone would get out of the cart and hit a golf ball, but we really never got serious about the game.
After we spent a while in the heat, we all started to get punchy. Somehow Malcolm had gotten his hands on some chicken – I don’t want to know how – and had made a chicken kabob with a golf club. I told him to take the chicken off the golf club – it was going to make the club all greasy! He ignored me so I started to swat at him with a golf club of my own. He swatted back and we started a sort of sword fight. Cali and Jibbers were getting bored with golf and climbed a tree. Corny was fed up with the whole thing and decided that the only way the little white golf ball was going to end up in the hole was if he put it there. He picked it up and flew over to the hole and dropped it in.



It was getting late so we all climbed back into the golf cart and headed back to the hole that was at the end of our street. We left the cart and clubs (some greasier than others) where we found them and headed home.
I hope you have a fun weekend! Drag your friends out to try something new!
Love & kitty kisses,
Josie

Surf's Up!!

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! Hope you all took advantage of the gorgeous summer weather and spent last weekend lounging on the beach. That’s what some of my friends and I decided to do.
We needed my brother to drive us to the beautiful Carolina coast, so Bobbi and I started talking about all the bikini clad babes that would most definitely be sunbathing on the beach. It didn’t take long before he volunteered to take us. Bobbi and I are two smart critters!
I called Sonar and invited her to come along. I heard she was a plucky sort and thought she might like to join me on one of my adventures. She was very happy to be included, and was at my front door ready to go right on time!
I thought it would be fun to have two hunky men accompany us womenfolk to the beach. I checked with Matthew and Anthony to see if they were free, and much to my delight, they were! I asked them if they would mind if a squirrel joined us. I know there are many cats who cannot help themselves – when they see a squirrel they have to chase it. The boys assured me they would respect my friend and not chase her. With that all settled, we piled in the car and headed for fun in the sun!
It took a couple of hours to get there, but it was worth the ride. We all bounded out of the car and headed toward the sand. Once we hit the beach, sand was flying everywhere. We just ran and laughed – the sand felt funny between our toes. We suddenly noticed that everyone was looking at us. We calmed ourselves down and started looking for a place in which to settle.
One beach activity I always found so funny was when someone was buried in the sand by their friends. I mentioned it to the others in my party and Matthew immediately volunteered to be buried. Before I could tell the others to go to work, they were already digging away, throwing dirt on top of handsome Matthew. Tristan found a bucket in the back of his car that he let us use. Since Matthew is so nice and slim, it didn’t take much sand to cover him up. When we were finished we all stepped back and started to laugh. Matthew was just a head – he had no body!!!! We asked him if he wanted to get out, but he said no. He liked when people passed by and noticed him. I thought we should at least give him some cold milk to keep him cool, and an umbrella hat to keep him in the shade. Much to our delight, that made him look even more amusing!



We all sat and had some milk while deciding what to do next. Something daring and adventurous I would hope. Out in the ocean we could see some surfers. I looked at Bobbi and she closed her eyes and started shaking her head “no” while quietly saying “no,no,no Josie.” I looked at Matthew’s head and I didn’t know if he couldn’t shake it or he was in for the adventure. Anthony seemed a little nervous, but he got swept up in my enthusiasm and agreed to give surfing a try.
Off we went to the water’s edge to find a kind surfer willing to loan us a surfboard. I’d send dashing Anthony to ask the girl surfers and I asked the guy surfers. It turned into a competition to see who could get a surfboard, and I eventually persevered! A kind gentleman with a very large surfboard thought his board we be perfect for us. Since Matthew was still up to his neck in sand, we had to excuse ourselves for a moment and go unbury him.
The five of us scurried back and jumped on the surfboard. The surfboard’s owner was kind enough to push us out into the ocean. It was a bit scary. If we didn’t hit the wave just right water would pour on top of us. Since cats do not look very good when wet, we told our new friend to be very careful. We made it out pretty far and when the first wave came by just right, we were on it!!! Whoooooooaaaaa! It was tough keeping one’s balance on the wet board, but all four of us managed to hang on.



We glided in looking like quite the experienced surfers. When we made it back to shore, we got a round of applause from our fellow beachgoers! We all took a bow and thanked our navigator. On to the next beach activity!
We thought we should go back to some sand activity - a much more sedate and dry endeavor. Since we had a bucket, I suggested we build a sandcastle. The others were up to the task. Bobbi worked on the lower areas, and we taller cats worked on the higher. We ended up being a very creative bunch and our sandcastle was the hit of the beach.



We sat for a while and talked about trying to start up a game of beach volleyball, but somewhere during the conversation some of us fell asleep…



Fortunately, Tristan came along after a while and woke us up. Good thing – I didn’t need a sunburned nose! He told us we needed to head home. I had that sandy, salty, wind blown feel to my fur, so I agreed it was time to go!
There was much napping and snoring on the drive home. Going to the beach wears one out! I was glad to have had a chance to spend a day having some beach fun. I think my friends had a good time too!!! Have a great week!
Love & kitty kisses,
Josie

Come Fly With Me

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! We have had a little relief from the heat. It was only in the 90’s this week as opposed to the 100’s the week before. Break out the sweaters!!
Corny has been bugging me about learning to fly. I tried to explain to him that one must have wings to fly. He told me about the people dressed in green who he meets in the sky all the time. It took me a minute before I figured out what he was talking about. Ooooh! He meant soldiers parachuting at Ft. Bragg. I asked him if he had happened to notice the big puffy pieces of cloth above their heads. He responded that yes, he had noticed, but he had already figured out what they were. Even though I knew that they were parachutes, I couldn’t resist asking him to enlighten me. Corny seemed very proud that he knew something that I did not. I couldn’t wait to hear this!!! He patiently explained to silly me that they were sun shades to make sure the skydivers didn’t get too hot or sunburned. He told me that being that much higher and closer to the sun might hurt the delicate human skin. They weren’t protected with feathers like birds.
It took a lot of effort to stifle my laughter, but I told him that his theory made sense. I told him that the pieces of cloth also served to catch the wind to slow the person down so they could land easier (and not break any bones) and help them steer where they wanted to go. Corny thought that sounded plausible. He then suggested I should get a parachute so I could fly. I told him I could get a parachute, but I would also need a plane to take me high up in the sky so I could jump out of it. Unfortunately, he knew of a small airport about a half hour away that had little planes that people jump out of all the time. Being the plucky feline that I am, I would never back down from a new adventure. I agreed to try skydiving.
I was not going to do this by myself, so I recruited several of my bravest friends to accompany me into the clear blue yonder. Bobbi said she would try it if she could bring Skippy and Hammy along. I told her the more the merrier! Cali, Dot and Vuvuzela surprised me by saying they thought it sounded like fun. I figured it would be nice to include one of my new ferret friends, and Jibbers jumped at the chance to skydive. Then there was Malcolm. He wanted to know what food was involved. I told him it didn’t matter to me if he came along or not. I was not going to ply him with food. He seemed disappointed but didn’t want to be left out of a trip that might involve passing a KFC. He mumbled something about us needing him to keep us out of trouble so he might as well tag along – I don’t think those were his words exactly, but I’m too much of a lady to say what I think I heard him say!!
I tippy tapped the Raeford airport and let them know that a party of nine would be coming to skydive the next day. They tippy tapped back and said they were looking forward to meeting us. They had seen me perform at the Dogwood Festival and were visitors to my website. Oooh! Fans! Now I know how Sandra Bullock must feel!
Our brave team assembled in our front yard at the crack of dawn and we all piled into my brother’s car for the trip to the Raeford airport. The car was pretty quiet – I think some of us were having second thoughts. I know I was. Corny greeted us at the airport and showed us some of the airplanes. We knew which one was going to be our plane!



The nice folks at the airport showed us around and answered all our questions. We had to take a class before we could board the plane so we all sat quietly while we waited for the instructor. All except Malcolm, that is. He was getting hungry and grouchy. Tristan agreed to drive back to town and find a KFC. Before the class was over, he returned with several buckets of chicken. He thought we all might enjoy a snack since we skipped breakfast. Most of us were too nervous to eat, which left lots of chicken for Malcolm. He was in heaven.
When we were sufficiently educated in the art of skydiving, we put on our jump gear and headed for the plane. I tried to tell Malcolm to leave the leftover chicken behind, but he thought the trip into the sky would take a long time and he would get hungry again. I didn’t know how he could think of food at a time like this. It was much too exciting!!
The plane taxied down the runway, getting faster and faster. It was a small plane so it shook and rattled as we sped up to takeoff speed. Just as I was beginning to think something must be wrong – whoooosh! The plane smoothly lifted into the air. We all sighed aaaaaaaah at once. We climbed higher and higher until we leveled off at a gazzilion feet (or so it seemed – actually it was around 13,000) We peeked out the window and couldn’t believe the view. Everything looked so different from up here!!
Then it was time to start jumping out of the plane. It goes against every logical bone in one’s body, but I was determined to see this through. Each critter wanted someone else to go first and we just went around and around about it. Finally, Jibbers had had enough and scurried to the door. He looked back at us, smiled and jumped out!



Wow! What a brave ferret! We all peered out the door to see him waving and laughing as he fell through the air. Now we all wanted to do it. One by one we jumped out of the plane – Geronimoooooooooooooooooooooo! We all loved it. Everyone was smiling and waving to each other.





Surprisingly, there was no sensation of falling, more like floating – and very windy!!! Our little tails were just flapping around. We had no control over them! It was such a cool sensation that I didn’t want to end.
Then I noticed Malcolm wasn’t anywhere to be seen. I looked back at the plane in time to see Malcolm and all his chicken come flying out the door of the plane. I was hoping I wouldn’t get hit with a piece of chicken once I hit the ground!



Our instructor, who jumped with us, signaled us to open our parachutes. It seemed like only a minute since we had left the plane, but I didn’t want to become a large splat on the ground. We all pulled our ripcords and braced for the slowing of our fall. We must have been a sight; nine of us floating in the sky. Now all we had to do is have a safe landing and we would have done it. After being so high up and having so far to fall, the ground seemed to suddenly come up fast! But our excellent instructor had us prepared and we all made nice controlled, gentle landings



As the instructor went around helping us gather our parachutes we were all chattering with excitement: Did you see me? Did you see that? Wasn’t that cool? We were high fiving each other and just grinning with satisfaction. Well, most of us were. Malcolm was frantically running around with an empty KFC bucket trying to find the chicken that had gone flying out the plane door with him. He was not pleased. “Wasn’t that a blast Malcom?” I gushed and slapped him on the back. Even in his agitated state, he couldn’t help but let a smile creep onto his face. “Yes, that was cool,” he said in the clearest voice in which I have ever heard him speak.
Poor Tristan had to listen to our stories all the way home. Each one wanted to tell him what they did and saw. He was very nice and tried to act interested in what we were saying. I’m sure he was relieved when we finally arrived home.
I invited everyone back to the deck for a beverage before calling it a day. We thanked Corny for encouraging us to try flying. We all decided he was very lucky to be able to do that whenever he wanted. I am so glad we weren’t afraid to try something new!
Hope you have a great weekend! Go out and try something new – even if it seems scary. Especially if it seems scary!
Love & licks,
Josie

Utopian Seafood Buffet!

Happy Friday! Happy weekend! Hope you all had an enjoyable week. My friends and I had quite the little adventure in our quest for the Utopian Seafood Buffet. Twist my arm and maybe I’ll tell you about it!
…Okay! I know humans are big on “urban legends”, but did you know us felines have urban legends of our own? Like the one about the biggest ball of yarn in the world that can entangle a curious cat so strongly that the cat can never get out. I don’t like that one. I like the more fun, positive ones. Like the one about the most fabulous seafood buffet in the world. It’s an all you can eat buffet offering every kind of the freshest fish imaginable! Many cats have claimed to know someone who knows someone who has been to it, but no one has been able to produce any photographic proof of its existence…until now.
It all started a couple of weeks ago when I was in the Payless Shoe Store with Mom. They were having one of their big BOGO sales, so she said she just had to go stock up on some summer sandals. I hadn’t been there before, but I figured if they had shoes, surely they would have a lovely assortment of accessories - including hats. Seems I figured wrong - Payless does NOT have hats. Oh, well. I helped Mom shop for shoes – she trusts my judgment since I am such a fashionista. I couldn’t help but overhear two ladies talking about a place on the North Carolina coast that had every kind of fish you could imagine swimming around in large tanks. Wow, I thought, that must be the Utopian Seafood Buffet. Legend has it that you can pick your fish right out of the tank and either eat it right then, or give it to one of the master chefs to have it cooked to perfection. Oooh, I didn’t know which option I would take. My mouth started to water and I closed my eyes and imagined how great a fresh fish would taste. Suddenly, I realized the ladies had left without divulging where exactly this place was. At least I knew that it was located on the coast of NC.
I was now more determined than ever to try to find the Utopian Seafood Buffet. I didn’t want to go on my quest alone – who would believe me if I didn’t have witnesses…not to mention the fact I am unable to drive on my own. It wasn’t too hard to recruit some friends to come along. Convincing my brother to drive a couple of hours to the coast took a little more coaxing. I asked him very nicely, tilted my head just so and purred. It didn’t take long before he was eating out of my hand and agreed to be our chauffer to the coast.
We (Tank Fuzzbutt, Cali, Dot, Malcolm and I) decided to start out bright and early in the morning before any traffic could build up. My friends and I were so excited we were already in the car well before we were scheduled to leave. Tristan, evidently, was not as eager and we sat and waited and waited for him to get in the car and drive!



We had carefully placed our hats in the trunk so they would not get squished. Nothing is worse than a squished hat! We figured we would not be very comfortable wearing our hats while in such tight quarters in the car. It was probably a wise move though I hate going out into society without a hat! Tristan finally emerged from the house and started us on our way to new discoveries!
We had fun in the car singing along with the radio and looking for animals in the fields along the way. We headed in the general direction of the Carolina Coast figuring we could ask people for directions as we closed in on our destination. It took a couple of hours before we needed to start interrogating the locals. We stopped at several convenience stores before we found a person who knew of what we spoke. They kindly gave us the sacred directions to Utopia.
Malcolm was getting hungry so we had to drive through Kentucky Fried Chicken to buy a bucket of chicken. I scolded him and told him he would ruin his appetite if he ate a whole bucket, but he just mumbled something about being hungry again in a little while. I think he called me a not nice name!!
We had to stop several times before we found it. As soon as it rose up in the horizon I knew that it truly did exist – the Utopian Seafood Buffet!!!! It was beautiful!! We all started howling with delight –well, except for Tristan; he just covered his ears – and we leapt out of the car before it had come to a complete stop. We scurried up the stairs and made a bee line for the door.



There was no Maitre D to greet us when we entered – which was good. We didn’t know their policy on feline diners. It was tough to keep the group together as we were all pointing at something wonderful. We were whipped up into such a frenzy we had to stop and figure out where the buffet line started. We sat down and started to talk among ourselves when something behind me caught my eye. I turned to look and it was a tank just filled with tasty looking fish! I shrieked with glee and my friends all turned at once to look. Tank and Dot jumped up to get a better look and Dot took a few swats at some fish but didn’t catch any.



Since the drool was beginning to puddle on the floor, we decided we absolutely had to find the buffet line NOW. We were trying not to be noticed, so we really couldn’t ask people where we should be going to find the buffet.
As we walked around past all the beautiful fish tanks in search of a meal, Malcolm growled that he was glad he had eaten that chicken or he’d be famished by now. We all just rolled our eyes and forged onward.
We had heard that you were allowed to pick your own fish, but how could you do that when they were so far under the water? Then the answer appeared before us like an answer to our hungry prayers:



Aha! We had to put on scuba gear and go pick out our fish under the water. How ingenious! Combining adventure and sport with eating. What a great idea. No wonder no cat will admit this place exists. They want to keep it all for themselves!
Not everyone in our party was up for scuba diving. Tank and I volunteered to don the scuba gear and secure provisions for the whole group. Malcolm looked especially relieved. I don’t think he’s much into athletics.
It took a while, but we found some scuba gear in a closet behind one of the huge fish tanks. Tank and I grabbed some gear and jumped into the water.



What fun it was to swim under the water like that! I almost forgot about the fish. I finally remembered what I was supposed to be doing and got to work gathering dinner. It proved to be a daunting task. It was hard to get near any of the fish – they were much better at swimming than I was. Tank and I swam all around to no avail. We were unable to catch any fish. We were finally exhausted and decided to call it quits. I did not look forward to telling Malcolm there would be no fish for dinner.
As Tank and I climbed out of the tank, a couple of waiters came over to help us. They explained that we were not supposed to swim in the fish tanks – only the caretakers were supposed to do that. They told us that even though cats were not supposed to be roaming around, they were in such awe of our courage and swimming abilities that they would let us stay to eat dinner. Food at last!
They led us to a lovely dining room and showed us to a table. The waiters left us for a few minutes. When they returned they had trays full of food! You should have seen Malcolm’s eyes light up! There was a variety of fish – very fresh and very delicious. There was a plate with fish sticks piled high. That was Malcolm’s favorite.



We ate until we were about to burst! I think even Malcolm was full – didn’t think it was possible!
Tristan finally tracked us down. He figured if he found food, he’d find us. We had a long trip home ahead of us, so Tristan said we needed to get going. We stopped to thank the kind waiters who took such good care of us before we headed to the car. When we got outside we turned and took one last look at this wondrous place…now we know it DOES exist. Tristan pulled out his cell phone and snapped a picture, though I don’t think anyone would believe it anyway.
Poor Tristan had to listen to us burp and moan all the way home. It was a treat to not have to listen to Malcolm continually ask to stop to get something to eat. We agreed that we would not divulge the location of the Utopian Seafood Buffet to anyone – it would be our little secret. We were all exhausted when we finally pulled up into our driveway and we went to our respective homes immediately. My head barely hit the pillow and I was out, content in the knowledge that I had been where few cats had been before.
Have a wonderful weekend and week. Visit your favorite seafood restaurant and pig out. It may not be the Utopian Seafood Buffet, but any seafood is still good!

Love & licks,

Josie